Dylan Dog Blog – Dylan’s ‘Well Settled’ in his forever home

Dear Bestest Aunty Julie,

I can weport dat I haz bin depwived of der white wine tooday altho I dids do a niblet of a big icey kube as it woz going fwom icey-cupboard to gin glass. Woz de absoloot chillest on my gnashers and dissapointink not vey like der cheez kube. I hav, howefers, bin helpin wiv de roasted cow and gwavy. Also der sossidgey-negg spheres (allvohw I fink deys did do a sneaky tablit-hidey-trick wiv dat as were uncarikteristically cwunch-like.) I dids pwetend not nowtiss as I no yoo Humanses liyk to fink you can trik der superior 4-leggses on der odd okaysion. BOL (bark owt louwd).

So diss mornin I dids me yoga before gettin in der big bed and did just the snuffuluffaguss wen installed between der big 2-legses. Twied to yoos dat sooper cloudy puffer fluffer again but did do a confuse an sudly wealised me bum woz on it instead me pointy nose. Woz cumforbel anyhoos so dids just start der snoors in dat posishun. HuDad woz mutterin sumfin bout der “gas”!??  He’s a funny wun.

Had a littel car travellin this mornin witch woz a littel bit stwess as me girlyfwend did a confuse an did get in der boot an lie down underneaff me tumtum. “Fine,” fort I…. “She not der most obligin of fellow twaveller…. but mes can dust move over an do the comfies in uvver side boot.” Well,  she did then go an do a stand up! Me pawsies woz leavin the floor! Was takin offs! Did me a hooooge confuuz and dust looked at der 2-legses like “help!” We woz stucks lyk a crissy-cwoss neiver culd moves like! Der 2-legses managed to get der Milly-Moo out in a crouchin shuffles-paw-styly an I did comes back down to land. Phew. Wot a fing! I be suspectin der girlyfwend is a few snossidges short of der picnic if you seees wot I meens. She is luffly doh. All woz forgetted soon enuff anyhows as did go to der sooperpark and meet too nu fwends of a pointy an long-legged nayture!  Albie and Swift. Swift woz a bit nervus but I did walk wiv her nice an she did henjoy der outin. Albie an Milly-Moo hav der same furstripeys. Der 2-leggses belonging to der pointy fwends was sooper kind an did der fussingsess an woz a such sooper walk I even forgot bout the deerpark. Shame. Next tym.

This aftynoon der smol 2-legses bin out at a smol 2-legs type fing (I suspect involvin der paw-spiky blocks ov many colors), and I bin helpin HuDad learn der ball twicks. I also did supervize der roastin of der cow and tayters. Layter, HuMum took me and Milly-Moo owt and I did der pub sniffs. I did a bit of anuvver sooperconfusel on comings home an went in der house number 3 gayte. I must say dey do need to fix de gayte and mebbe make mor room between der gayte an der fwont dor as wen I realisd it woz not me howse was massive stuk an as yoo no der hound is missin der reversegear…. so did havs to do me a 27-point turn to gets me all owt. Did feel a bit silly.

Dids me a nearly-roach today and also hav bin startin do der sleepy-wabbit-chasins wiv me pawsies and teefs so HuMum say I must be “well settled”. Obviously.

Anyhoo. Will do mor me ritings soon. Luff, wags and leans,

Dylan xx